Balance
Last Sunday morning I made it to the nursing home right after Loan died. I’m glad she is with Jesus now. As Psalm 116:15 says, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” The funeral is tomorrow and I just finished the message. God is so good to give the words He knows people will need to hear. It was also nice to talk with some good Christian friends at the funeral home tonight after not seeing them for a long time.
I had the privilege of speaking at a Methodist Church last Sunday morning and it was a lot of fun. They have one contemporary service each month, and I really enjoyed the quality and spirit of their band.
Yesterday we found out that Seth has been selected to participate in a special NW OH Youth Art Display at Maumee Valley Country Day School. He loves art and I’m so happy that he has been encouraged by this award and that he has such a good art teacher.
It’s been a busy two days at work, and I’m excited. Tomorrow I have two important appointments. One is with a family whose house will be my first listing, and another is with potential buyers. I also received a call today that I hope will result in my first commercial client! I have a lot to learn but am getting all the help I can from a great office manager.
I like the fast pace of the last couple of days, but I’m struggling a little to keep everything balanced. It sure was good to play catch with Seth and wrestle with him and Shani tonight.
It’s almost midnight, so I’m going to get ready for bed. Tomorrow is a big day with the funeral and work appointments.
Today’s N-Cite: The rewards of obedience are worth far more than any sacrifice we could ever make. I love walking with Jesus!
Liberating Confessions
I had a great day today. It started out rabbit hunting. Four men. Three dogs. Thirteen rabbits. Enough said.
This afternoon I was privileged to have a very enlightening visit with my friend Brin. As we walked throughout his house, we saw the overwhelming evidence of the grace of God that has been and is at work through his wife, who is now in a nursing home. In every room her handiwork, His handiwork, was displayed with beautiful artistry.
A colleague of mine initiated a meeting in which he is going to give me a running start by sharing a lot of important files tomorrow morning. I’m very grateful for the new friends God is brining into my life.
Now to address the title of this post. Liberating confessions. Psalm 32 says, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord" – and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”
Julie directed us to these verses tonight. Then Lisa pointed us to Hosea 2 and spoke of God’s desire to respond to His people with faithfulness. Then we experienced the truth of God’s Word. Sins were confessed and the church agreed to fast and pray for deliverance from addiction for two of our brothers, and we encouraged them to pursue God and learn of the power that comes when we pray in the Spirit (Ephesians 6: 18). Victory is ours! Kim reminded us that Jesus is all that we need and we had fun with the idea that He is food to the glutton; drink to the alcoholic; a cigarette to the smoker. We believe that whatever satisfaction people receive from these things can be totally fulfilled by Jesus instead. He is the I AM whatever you need!
By the way, it would probably be good for me to confess that I only shot one of those 13 rabbits!
Today’s N-Cite: Don’t hide your sin. You are not alone, so confess it to people who love you and enter the hiding place of God!
Emotions
It’s 1:03 a.m. and I can’t sleep. I don’t know if it’s the caffeine from the tea I had for dinner or the myriad of emotions I’ve had the last few days. They have been busy days, generally really good, but not entirely. So here’s a summary of what I’ve felt or am feeling now.
Grateful for new friends. This past weekend Kim and I went on a retreat – a real one, without schedules and measurable goals and action steps – with some new friends who are relative veterans at house churching. What a great time with Mike & Pam, Jan and Sonja, Mike & Cary. True servants of God. All of the them have been refined on the anvil of suffering and are shining like gold.
Grateful for old friends. Time with Chris & Sara, Ted & Cheryl, Jim & Deb, and Julie, and Kevin and the people who worship in our house on Thursdays. They are God seekers. Gracious. Real. They’re secure in Jesus and it’s a lot of fun to be with people who don’t feel like they have to impress anyone. I’m still working on that and fortunate to have their examples.
Amazed at the beauty of God's creation. Ash Cave in Hocking Hills is worth the trip to see it.
Initially angry then sad about a friend of mine who is hurting deeply. I wish there was something I could do to take away some of the pain.
Welcomed into a new office with some cool people who have accepted me with open arms.
Proud of Seth for scoring ten points in his game on Saturday.
Impressed by the strength God gives people who are facing real trials, like my friend Brin. He continues to teach me what it means to lay down your life for someone else. I’ve spent several hours with him in the last few days and he has ministered to me far more than I have to him.
Challenged by the level of honesty of the people at BGPD. I don’t mean this as a slam, but as a point of comparison the church as a whole could learn a few things from the candor of these people.
Privileged to be married to Kim and to be the father of Seth & Shani.
Today’s N-Cite: I pray that God makes me as patient with other people as He is with me and that when I’m feeling squeezed the only thing that will come out is His love.
Hospitals & Healing
It has been a long day. I spent most of it at the hospital and was blessed to see my friend, Ed, minister to a family that is really hurting. He is an awesome priest and he had great sensitivity and discernment today.
Please pray for my friends as they say goodbye to a wife and mother who is in her early 30’s. Unless God intervenes, she will be going to heaven soon. The last two years she has been suffering and her family has demonstrated selfless service in caring for her. Pray for her children who are in the 5th and 6th grade, her husband, parents, sisters and brothers.
While I was at the hospital, I ran into some other people I know who were there for various reasons and it occurred to me again that every day of the year and in every country there are people who are suffering physically. In fact, Kim woke up very early this morning with a severe back ache. When we prayed for her tonight, she was instantly set free from the pain. What a faith-builder!
I don’t know why God heals some and not others, and this has often caused me to be very frustrated. Today as I wrestled with that - again - I was able to affirm that though I don’t understand the mystery of God, I know that His love is the most powerful force in this universe and that He is good. I can't let my faith be shaken when God doesn't do what I want Him to do.
The PowerHouse leadership team came over for dinner tonight and their words from the Word, along with their prayers and rich conversation were a breath of fresh air and provided some much needed perspective. I thank God for Kim, Mike, Chris, Ed & LouAnn.
I also spent a couple of hours today with Sondra, the manager of our office. She gave me a lot of information to learn and now we’re getting down to the basics of the business. The other agents have been most helpful and encouraging and I am very fortunate to work with them. I have a lot to learn but believe that God is going to open many doors for me to share the love of Jesus with colleagues and future clients and customers.
It was an emotionally draining day but God poured into me tonight even more than I had spent during the day. I was reminded by LouAnn of the importance of resting in Christ and being still before Him. I’ve been neglecting that stillness lately and plan to start my day tomorrow with some intimate time in the presence of Jesus.
Shiny Head Passes!
I passed the real estate exam this morning! It’s been quite a while since I’ve taken a test, so I am relieved and grateful for the prayers of my family and friends.
It will take a few days for the license to be issued and I can't get started until it's sent to Mr. Green. I should be up and running by next week, but I have plenty of work to do now – like getting business cards made, configuring my computer for the network at the office, and getting a mailing ready.
This picture is the one I had taken at Wal-Mart today for my business cards. I asked if there was anything that could be done about the shiny forehead. I’m sure the photographer has heard dozens of questions like that – can you make me look thinner, smarter, etc. I guess I’m going to have to get used to it!
Good Weekend
We're getting ready to go to church this morning but it doesn't start until 11:00 so I have had some time to play with Seth and blog a little. We're going to a growing church that meets in the mall and the pastor is a weatherman on a local news channel. Several of our friends are attending there and it will be nice to worship with them.
It's already been a really good weekend. Friday night at Q'Doba (Mexican restaurant) was a lot of fun. Chris & Sara have been going there for a long time and it was fun to see them buiding a friendship with the owner. She was excited about being invited to their home for dinner.
Saturday started out with breakfast at Panera at 7:30 with Mark. He loves Jesus and is very interested in PowerHouse. Plus, he likes to hunt.
I spent most of the day at Upward Basketball at BG Nazarene with 1-2 graders. I reffed two games, coached one and had the privilege of doing the halftime devotions at 5 games. I was pretty whipped when I got home and just had a couple hours before going to PowerHouse.
I was tired when our gathering started, but totally energized by the time we left. God's presence was sweeet. Chris is adding to the band and people were ready to sing praises, even though we had technical difficulty and no one had the words. We had a great time praying for people who need healing, and it was really cool to have Zach, who is in elementary school, lead us in prayer for his teacher Brenda's healing.
We talked about the favor of God and how everyone in the Bible who was favored greatly also suffered greatly - Mary, Paul, Job, and of course Jesus. I believe God is getting his Bride ready for a time of greater testing and persecution than we have ever know. As Russ said, with great favor comes great persecution.
It was great to see several guests there and to hear people inviting them to join their house church. It looks like the church that meets in our house will be mulitiplying very soon. We anticipate a pretty crowded time this Thursday and will need to birth at least one new church quickly.
Since we meet so early on Saturdays, there was plenty of time to share a meal afterwards. We went to Paglai's with Hendricks and Julie and continued the discussion about what it means to have God's favor. My desire to know Jesus, to live Jesus, and to share Jesus was greatly increased because of our time together.
Why I need the Church
I got a call last night that someone who has suffered greatly the last two years was in the hospital - again - and I went there this morning. For a while, I was upset with God(OK, I was mad at Him) because He hasn't healed this mother of two young children. As much as I hate to admit it, I started to doubt His goodness. That reminded me of something I heard once from an experienced Christian. He told me that when he was a young man, his greatest battles were against sins of the flesh. As an older man, his greatest battles are against unbelief. I'm starting to understand that some, in spite of my youthfulness!
Tonight at our house church we feasted both physically and spiritually. Lisa said God had been speaking to her about perfecting her faith. The discussion was awesome, and we spent some time in Hebrews 10. It was most encouraging to hear my house church family confess their utter dependence upon God in order to have faith at all, and to affirm God's desire for us to have a growing and sustaining and overcoming kind of faith. My unbelief and doubt was not simply dismissed as okay; it was identified as sin, and I confessed it. Openly. And it was healing, just like James said it would be.
There are millions of reasons why I need the church. One reason is that when my faith falters, the church reminds me just how good God really is. Whether I understand this life or not, I know God is faithful, just, and true to His Word. It was good to be reminded of that in an environment of grace.
Simply grateful
It was a good day. It started off with a six mile run (it sure feels good to be getting back into shape) with a good friend. The miles went by quickly as Kevin and I talked about matters of substance.
I also enjoyed seeing a great man of God who reminds me a lot of Caleb in the Bible, then I studied a few hours for the real estate exam before enjoying the privilege of spending the afternoon at Shani’s preschool, where we celebrated her half-birthday. She is growing up fast. Too fast.
After a powerful prayer time with Mike & June, I came home to a wonderful dinner. I am blessed to eat like a king every night and these days the time we invest discussing life around the table is more valuable than ever.
This picture shows Shani wearing her birthday hat, and Seth prepared for us to play cowboys and Indians while Kim goes to a prayer group. We had a great time tonight.
Today’s N-Cite: The more I appreciate the simple pleasures of life, the more I see how truly blessed I am. A little gratitude sure goes a long way.
Friends
Friends are one of God's greatest gifts, and our lives have been enriched this week by some of the greatest people on earth. We had an awesome time with Randy, Connie & Jesse watching the Steelers win the big one and laughing our heads off at the commercials. Great time with great friends.
Monday we shared a meal and life with Chris, Sara & Macee. We've been friends for about nine years now and can say anything to each other without worrying how it will be taken. Great food, great conversation, great friends.
I ran into Deb today at the library and was totally fired up to see her doing a Bible study with a new friend of ours from Sri Lanka who is exploring Christianity. There they were, having church right in the public library! She left the library to hang our with some hurting teenagers and share God's love with them, too. Great example of God's love from a great friend.
I left the library (where I was studying for the real estate exam coming up) and went to particpate in a scripture study group with some pastor friends. This time on Tuesdays is always a highlight as I spend time in the Greatest Book with some of God's greatest servants. As usual, I was encouraged and challenged as I saw Jesus in the lives of friends with whom I share the greatest calling.
We spent the evening tonight with Dave & Beth, sharing what God is doing in our lives, reminiscing about old times and looking expectantly toward the future. Though we are worshiping with different congregations, we are part of the same Body and getting connected again was more than encouraging - it was life-giving. Great fellowship with great friends.
Today's N-Cite: When God said it was not good for man to be alone, I think he meant that to apply to much more than marriage. We really do need each other and I thank God for these and many more friends He has given us. Our lives are infinitely better because of all of you!
Music, Truth and Basketball
Kim and I enjoyed a great date last night. We ate a terrific meal at Carrabba’s, then went to the Toledo Symphony. A friend I run with plays in the symphony and got us some complimentary tickets. The seats were great, the evening was romantic, and the soothing sound of the strings was a perfect experience of beauty in a week that was full of sights and sounds that were far from beautiful.
Over the last few days, I’ve spent several hours preparing for a very large funeral for a 17 year old boy who left his mom and twin brother to pick up the pieces after his suicide. Thank God for His grace, and the words of truth he gave me to share at the funeral. It was this morning at 11:30, and the church was full of hurting people. Fortunately, it was also full of the mercy of God. Though the whole week was too difficult of an experience to adequately describe, I’m grateful that God allowed me to be His ambassador and share the love of Jesus with our community.
I left the cemetery in time to arrive at Seth’s first Upward game just after it started. It really felt good to laugh at these 1st and 2nd grade stars. I’m glad to be coaching with a cool guy named Steve who is having a lot of fun this season. Even though we don’t keep score, Seth let me know that our team lost. He scored a couple of baskets and was very happy with his performance. He sure does like to shoot, so we need to work on passing the ball at practice this week.
As soon as the game was over, we went to watch the Falcons with our neighbors who had given us tickets. It was exciting as the game went into two overtimes. The officiating was lousy and we ended up losing but it was a lot of fun. It was nice to see some kids at the game proudly wearing their Upward uniforms.
I’m glad to be home and look forward to a quiet night. I need to get rested up to be able to cheer for the Steelers tomorrow as they get their fifth Superbowl ring. It’s been snowing all afternoon, so we’re hoping the roads are clear for us to spend the day with Randy and Connie and watch the game with them in MI.
Today’s N-Cite: I recently asked God to show me as much of His heart that I was capable of handling. He took me to the edge this week. Would you consider offering a prayer like that?
Senseless Death
One phone call is all it takes to change you day, and sometimes your whole life. I got one of those calls this morning from the BGPD. I enjoy serving as the chaplain, but it’s not very glamorous or prestigious. It’s fun to ride in the police cars when nothing is really happening, but to be honest, it’s a position full of opportunities to encounter people on the worst days of their lives. Like all calls of this nature, they surprise you with the sensitivity of a bull in a China shop, crashing into the ordinariness of life with a vengeance that is the emotional equivalent of Katrina.
The dispatcher told me that a boy had tried to hang himself at our high school and was now at the hospital. When I walked in I realized I knew the boy’s mother. She had brought her twin sons to a program at our church almost ten years ago, but they never came after that, even though they had a good time. I wonder if there was something I could have done, that we could have done differently that would have helped them really get connected with God and other believers. But I didn’t, we didn’t, and they didn’t. I’m not blaming anyone here, including myself. I just wish things would have been different.
How can you possibly know how a mother is feeling when the doctors are doing everything humanly possible to save her son’s life and you know it will take a miracle for them to be successful? I didn’t pretend to understand, but prayed to the God who does. In spite of our prayers, he didn’t make it. A junior in high school who was popular and talented and full of potential chose to end his life, and now the people who loved him are trying to make sense of something that is utterly senseless.
This is now the third student in our town to kill himself in the last two years and I’m getting tired of doing these funerals. None of them have been easy but this one seems worse, at least to me. Maybe it's because I have a greater hatred for Satan's lies. Maybe it’s because this time I was in the room when they were trying desperately to save his life. Maybe it’s because this time the kids have already experienced the pain this choice causes and should know better. Or maybe it’s because he was a twin, and I’m a twin, and I’m really angry that a boy has to go through the rest of his life without the benefit of having his brother to share it with him.
Thank God there were some bright spots in an otherwise dismal day. I saw friends showing compassion, students clinging to one another as they fought for survival in an ocean of pain. I saw a dear sister, Deb, ministering with the love of Jesus. I watched people like Bill the counselor, Doug the baseball coach who really cares, compassionate nurses and weeping doctors, friends and family doing the best they can when none of us really have much of a clue what to do.
Please pray for this family and for our community. Pray that it doesn’t happen again and that God will somehow use me and other people of influence to be the hands, feet, and voice of Christ in these tragic days.
Right now I’m tired, I’m angry, and I hope I don’t get any more phone calls like that for a very long time.
